i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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