I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
