the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize