Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
