white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
