Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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