Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
