dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
