ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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