I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
be right there i have to get my cape
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
