she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
