She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
