too bad you live with your parents still
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
