then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
