I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
My room smells like vodka and shame
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It's shark week go big or go home
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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