You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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