I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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