Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
