I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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