those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
