Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
