I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize