i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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