I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
