So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
