so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
