My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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