i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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