I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
