There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize