I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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