absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
