I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
