I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize
