i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
