you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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