4 words: hood of his car
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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