i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
