On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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