Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
