Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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