So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I need to stop coming to work sober
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
nutella sex= disaster
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
