apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I look better un-naked...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
