i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i wish my penis had a tongue
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
