You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
