ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
