i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
