There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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