they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
