dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
