He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
