Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
