fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
