i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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