Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
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