I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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