i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
