Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
