i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
