and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
