I hate all girls vehemently.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
people are starting to question the shark bite story
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
