So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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