I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
