Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
